'' The past three years has been a very emotional period for me. I
focused my energy on work and to build back my self esteem. its been
really hard for me to come out straight and talk about this because
sometimes I pinch myself to wake up and not believe that I was a victim
of domestic violence. I've been through a lot in my life, faced a lot of
challenges but this is one topic I've tried so hard to avoid and have
been waiting for the right time but I have come to a resolve that
there's really no right time because every second of the day,lives are
being lost due to domestic violence. I was a victiim of domestic
violence in my marriage and that was the singular reason I left my
marriage, aside other reasons.
Growing up as a girl. I was always
known as the sweetest kid on the block, before I got married, I have
been through some relationships and for once no man had ever laid a
finger on me. The first time it happened in my marriage I didn't
understand it because I am not the type of woman a man beats but I guess
there are no types. It just happens and no woman deserves it. As a
young girl I thought it was love or his way of expressing his
emotions,after every beating he pleads , cries and says it won't happen
again, once again I thought it was love and made excuses for him. Over
the years when it kept happening consistently I started looking for
other definitions for it. I started loosing my self pride,self esteem ,
self worth, and most painfully i lost a pregnancy (Miscarriage) I almost
lost my life in the process then I realised how serious and abnormal it
really was.
I have heard and read a lot of accusations
from ignorant people who don't know my story,I guess that's why they are
ignorant. I was 20yrs old and very naïve to the world when I got
married .“ They said I married for money“ LOL. I was married to a
corporate guy,who had a 9_5 job in a bank, Lives in a rented 2 bedroom
apartment at Egbe.. So do the maths! . I married for love. I did a
traditional wedding. A white wedding and a court wedding. So that's how
much I wanted to be married forever. For five years I hoped, prayed
& wished that one day it will all change. But the last straw that
broke the carmels back was during a heated argument he threw a glass jug
to my face and I dogged it and it shattered on d wall. I saw death
flash before me and I made a decision to save my life. I left my
marriage.
Am not saying this to draw pity from anyone because we
are entitled to our opinions and believes. I am not also saying this to
discourage people from falling in love because its a beautiful feeling
and I still believe in it. I am saying this to educate, share and talk
about my experience as a victim of domestic violence because it is
real.''
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